Thirteen and a Day
The Bar and Bat Mitzvah Across America
by Mark Oppenheimer, 2005 At thirteen and a day, a boy can be counted in a minyan(prayer quorum). He has reached the age of knowledge, where it is hoped he will follow the commandments(mitzvot). The fanfare of today's bar mitzvahs is new. Bat mitvahs were invented by the reconstructionist movement, which is itself new. Today, bnei mitzvot are regarded as an focal Jewish ceremony. Very secular Jews still have their children perform a religious ceremony before the party. Oppenheimer visited bnei mitvot of six congregations. At opposite parts of the US, he attended the bnei mitvah of two adult converts in Florida, and the bar mitvah of a Lubavitcher in Alaska(the same family is in Sue Fishkoff's
The Rebbe's Army. While visiting these communities, Oppenheimer took the opportunity to interview their most unusual members, and to speculate about their Judaism.
Although the stories presented in this book are presented as typical, they aren't. Each of the communities shown is one of only a few like it. The first group of marginally religious bnei mitzvah that Oppenheimer looks at are rich. One organizer of these parties says families come to him saying that they have "only" 50 thousand dollars to spend. Myself, I've never heard of anyone spending half that. The Jewish renewal movement is a dying remnant of the hippie movement, and everybody is Alaska is unusual. New Haven's BEKI is one of a handful of egalitarian congregations nationwide. I was surprised when reading that chapter to see a family in MY egalitarian congregation mentioned (Hi Johnstons!) partly because they've been here in Chicago for years now.
Question: What sorts of bnei mitzvah have you attended? Are any more profound than any others?
Happy reading.
