Fourteen
Growing Up Alone in a Crowd
by Stephen Zanichkowsky Martin and Johanna married in 1942. In 1943, Martha, the dutiful daughter, was born. Louise came in 1944. 1945 brought Marty. Jimmy was born in 1946, set apart from the rest until institutionalized at the age of 13. Anne(1948) had from brain damage and came at the world from an odd angle. 1950's Catherine was Anne's playmate. 1951 brought Paul. The author followed in 1952. Tony was born in 1953. Elizabeth had 1954, followed by Grace in 1955. Rita was born in 1957. Two miscarriages made an age gap; Jane was born in 1960. The only one to enjoy a relationship with their father, Stephanie was born in 1961. The family was large, it was loud, and it was scary. Corporal punishment was used to excess.
Being one of fourteen meant that money and attention were always scarce. Stephen wanted desperately to stand out from the crowd. With his role models being older brothers who had also not benefitted from much parental attention, Stephen did not learn mcuh in the ways of morals or about the facts of life. He was attracted first to his sisters, before other girls. He cooperated with his brothers in their attempts to steal.
Although many of the fourteen successfully left their childhoods behind them, Stephen was not one of these. His resentment of his parents was such that he did not attend his grandfather's funeral, to spite his father. After his mother's death, the will that is read disinherits all of the fourteen. Stephen sets out to find out if his parents had really loved them, and the result is this book.
Although the book is written from a mature perspective, the self that Zanichkowsky writes about is a very immature one. The settings and situations that he writes about are all painful ones, full of tired anger and resentment. None are carefree, few are happy. More than a few are disturbing. Zanichkowsky's resentment against his particular family may be a bit overgeneralized in his assumption that all large families are as dysfunctional as his own.
Thoughtful reading.
