Raising Adopted Children
Practical, Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent
by Lois Ruskai Melina, 1998 Parenting adopted children a complex task, having issues not to be found in other families. Adoptive families form more suddenly. The parents and child may not be prepared. Parents should do things to make adoption seem more immediate so that they are not taken by surprise. When they are separated from their foster or birth parents, children grieve, even if those first parents were abusive. They need help to get through their grief in a healthy manner. Adoptive parents should not feel rejected if their children are not immediately comfortable with them. Interracial adoption requires parents to teach their children about race, and about culture that may not be familiar to them. When possible, open adoption is often helpful to the parents and adoptee. In an open adoption, the medical information of the parents is available to children as it becomes known. For example, if the birth parents develop diabetes, then the child knows that she may be susceptible. Also, it helps the adoptee to come to terms with her adoption.
This book has a lot to say on adoption, but a lot of the advise is vague. Many of the statistics given are not adequately explained. This book does include a list of resources which may be helpful, and may also reassure parents who are worried about their own parenting skills. Readers may also find advance warning for some of the issues that may crop up useful. Due to her own experiences, Melina assumes that the couple adopting is infertile, and that this is an issue. Includes an index.
Pleasant reading.
: 4:09 PM
